Thursday 30 June 2011

A Cautionary Tale

Years ago I fell out with my vet surgery - we now have a different one - for being ridiculously cruel to Kitalpha and I. I also learned an important lesson which is worth passing on.
I'd like to point out before i tell this tale that I've had cats before but never a litter of new-born kittens so trusting what other people who'd had kittens said isn't such a naive move. (You'd think they'd know what they're talking about)

I was sitting with my friend in the living room when Kitalpha aged 2 flopped into the room wheezing, concerned I dropped to her level when she began to spew white froth across the floor. I scooped her up and Kitalpha was struggling to inhale, I tried to help her but white stuff was flying out her nostrils and she sounded like she was drowning.
Panic hit me so I grabbed the phone and rang the vets.
Let me add we were regular's at the vets, we had three cats and my vet was only 500 yards down the road so I was always popping in for flea treatments, examinations etc.

I explained the situation
VET : We can't see her until 4pm (it was 11am)
ME : This is an EMERGENCY
VET: 4pm
ME: SHE CAN'T BREATHE

At this point Kitalpha is barely breathing and white froth is still pouring out her mouth.

I then had to explain to the vet I didn't get paid until tomorrow (this was back in the poor days when D was jobless and we had no money to make ends meet) I asked if they could please see her that I'd pay them tomorrow, they know where I live and they know me and THEY REFUSED.
NO MONEY. NO SAVEY CATS LIFEY.
I was livid and passed the phone to my friend who tried to discuss a solution with them. My panic levels were rising and Kitalpha was getting worse and worse. I grabbed her face and blew into her nose and started rubbing her belly. I swung her in the air (as you do a baby lamb) to try get liquid out of her lungs and then,
with one ginormous sneeze, white globules flew out of her nose and across the room --- and she began to breathe again.
I took the phone back, told the vets that since they were unwilling to help my cat when she was in such dire straits they could go to hell and I'd be actively spreading the word to all my fellow pet owners to avoid them.

I was so scared about what had happened particularly as it had come out of the blue.....all became clear though when I walked into the second bedroom to find the floor swimming in thick white liquid.

Earlier that day I'd made some fudge, I'd been advised by many cat owners that condensed milk was fine for cats and even used to help feed kittens. I knew milk is ill advised but I was told repeatedly by different people that condensed milk is the exception - so I gave Kitalpha a small dish of left-over milk while I was cooking.
It turns out condensed milk is VERY bad for cats and causes severe problems and allergic reactions. These cat owners who swear blind they fed their cats and kittens the milk have either been extremely lucky, or are lying.

I'll never forget is how heartless my vet surgery was. My new surgery is wonderful, I've had appointment's before that have costed me a pittance (£3) and they always have the time to talk even if you just phone up for some free advice. I'll never forget the mistake I made and how it nearly cost Kitalpha her life and that condensed milk & cats is a NO-NO!

I waz not that much troblez waz iz? (yes she's illiterate)

Wednesday 29 June 2011

If sunbeams were weapons of war, we would have had solar energy centuries ago

My last few days have been a flurry of activity. I'm booked to take my business to our towns massive gala in September and will hopefully make my fortune get some publicity. I've had the joy of trawling through a toy wholesaler's brochure looking for groan sticks, sparkly batons and other such cheerful items which are perfect for the gala.
On Sunday & Monday we had a heatwave where leaving the house was like walking into a wall of dry heat, which was great, but made everyone at least half as productive as normal. Tuesday it rained and looked dark and stormy and today it's back to it's summer heat again. It's such a lovely change from the cold winter we "suffered" through. 
Kitalpha has been testing how much she can get away with, when I popped upstairs to send an email she took it upon herself to eat the ham off my salad. I came downstairs to her on hind-legs licking her lips. Needless to say Kitalpha was soon running the gauntlet to escape my scoldings and got relegated to the yard - rain or no rain - while I re-made and ate my dinner. We had make-up cuddles later so all is right in her world again, since she gets super whiny and clingy when I'm mad at her.
So that's my week so far! Boring huh?

If you would like to read the latest blog from Adamontise, the link is below :)

Tuesday 28 June 2011

The 4 worst movies that totally sucked but had one redeeming moment

These movies are, in my impression, a total waste of a rental space. We've watched them, usually based on brilliant reviews and by halfway through we've wanted to stab the reviewer. 5 star comedy my ass!
In all truly terrible movies there is a moment (usually only one) which uplifts our attitudes for a few seconds. It can be bizarre, funny, cringeworthy or entertaining and it's usually what we remember about the movie - other than that it sucked. And because most of the redeeming moments are rude or crude, here is your "you must be over 18 to read-on" warning!

Here are my applicants for the '4 worst movies that totally sucked but had one redeeming moment.'

#4 'Lie with Me'
Terrible movie which wasn't so much a movie as porn. We, of course, didn't know this until we'd already got the darned thing playing and noticed the cast had never heard of a little thing called underwear.
Redeeming Moment: The guy had a teeny tiny little "appendage" it was so, so small I freeze framed the screen and tried to measure it. It's no bigger than a pack a gum and even that is a generous measure. This turned the film into a "OMG look at him, why would he make a porn movie if he doesn't have anything worth filming?" movie with me cackling and freeze framing. (it was my 21st birthday and I was a little drunk)
Since then the lead has appeared in many other films and shows. Usually not nekkid and as a baddie. I canNOT take him seriously as an actor, I've seen inside those trousers and there is nothing to fear about that baddie. That and his stupid hair cut and facial hair, you'd think he'd TRY to distance himself from 'lie with me' -- he's not PROUD of it is he?

#3 Sideways
We'd seen the trailer for sideways and it looked funny, even the DVD box gave it 5 stars for comedy. When we put the film on though we soon realised the ONLY funny moments were shown in the trailer, other than that the movie sucked.
Redeeming Moment: When they crash the car into the tree while drunk, it was featured in the UK trailer and was the ONLY reason we wanted to see the movie.

#2 Hamlet 2
This movie, again promised comedy and was just terrible. Imagine a really bad (or worse) version of glee and you've got it.
Redeeming Moment: The musical at the end, including the songs 'Raped in the face' (totally shocked us into hysterical giggles) and "rock me sexy Jesus" and not forgetting Hamlet (no idea why) fighting with lightsabre's.
Here's the trailer for you.


#1 Death to Smoochy
It promised to take the mickey out of Barney and other stupid kids shows, and oh how it failed, there are a few good moments but the plot is just terrible and could have been so much better. They turned Robin Williams into a bitter twisted character rather than a comically desperate one.
Redeeming Moment: Robin Williams dressed as a big purple dinosaur, singing to kids while intoxicated on liquor and barfing into his costume...best-clip-ever.

The three thing's I've learned:

1) If the trailer looks awesome the film will probably suck
2) Avoid anything that says "From the makers of Sideways"
3) 5 star-ratings are obviously paid for and mean a film sucks

Monday 27 June 2011

It's not everyday I have such awesome ideas

Me : When I have our future child I want to give birth in a swing
D : WHAT?
Me: It would probably have to be a sex-swing since I'd probably need to be "held up"
D: What?
Me: I just think a swing might be really good for getting natural forces to help ease the baby out
D: Right
Me: I'd be all PUSH------PUSH---------WHEEEEEEEEE----------PUSH
D: *starts laughing* higher, higher
Me: Of course someone would have to have a giant net ready to catch the baby as it whooshes out
D: A designated catcher?
Me: and when it did it would be a BABY SHOWER!!!

Thursday 23 June 2011

I've been getting my hands dirty!

From digging my first ever border


Growing some lettuce


And generally getting my hands dirty, and it was all for the sake of a blog!
I'm really looking forward to planting some flowers though, hopefully with all the extra hard work I've put in I'll be better at keeping my plants alive! I'm very proud of what I've achieved, I've never done it before and as D did diddly squat to help me, it feels like a mega achievement.
Now because I know some of you may be lazy....uhhuh....I'm looking at you......I've going to go ahead and give you that link again so go ahead and "click" it, it sure took a lot of planning and effort to write.

C'mon now I KNOW you didn't click it yet....last chance...we have cookies!

*~Disclaimer: we don't have cookies~*

*~Further Disclaimer: We do have cookies, but they're not for you~*

Tuesday 21 June 2011

Lost in Translation

You may recall my previous run-in with the neighbours I share a drive with.
Last night the son knocked on my door to have a conversation with me from his dad, and everything went wrong from there, due to a language break-down I was about ready to declare war.
This takes place in my front yard, with the son from next door while the Father glares at me from his car.
Neighbour: "My English is not so good so I'll try explain. My dad would like to pleasurable you."

*Whaa - huh? Okay I am just going to smile and assume he's gotten the word wrong.*
Neighbour: "The cat sheets in the garden, the garden full of sheet. Sheet, sheet, more sheet. "

*Here a sheet there a sheet everywhere a sheet sheet*

Neighbour: "We spend much money on plants but they are decimated"

*Hey...you know "decimated" but tell me he wants to "pleasurable" me, what's that about?*

Neighbour: "My father wants put down the um ...um...um...thing i show you before.

Me: "The slug pellets?"

Neighbour: "Yes he want's to do that to stop it."

Me: Okay, well I'm really sorry they are going to the toilet in your garden, we have a litter tray in the house, which the boy uses, we have dug up part of the back garden to encourage them to use it themselves but one of my girls just goes where she wants, in the wood, garden, box it's just how they are she just uses the toilet where she likes, there's not a lot I can do. I am sorry she's going in your garden though.

Neighbour: "We are going to put this stuff down so I tell you so you can get them in"

Me: "Um...okay I'll get them in, I can't say it'll be immediate but I'll call them home."

So I go back inside and it suddenly occurs to me that they are going to use slug POISON to stop my cats toileting in their yard.....and suddenly..I'm angry.

D comes home and tells me to go back round and explain it won't stop them it will just make them sick, he tells me to go sort it out calmly.
I tell him I'm going to go round and tell them they should move and that if they kill my cats I will kill them, starting with the youngest first.
D tells me to stop being irrational and stupid. I tell D if the cats die it's his fault and I'll kill him too.

The neighbours had gone out so before I started burning bits of their house D suggested we went to the garden centre to buy "cat off" repellent which is harmless to pets but then we are extending the hand of friendship yadda yadda.
So we walk to the garden centre, for the whole hour journey I rant about the situation while D gives me "sideways" looks and tells me I'm irrational.

Two hours later we are returning home with the "cat off" and I knock on the neighbours door....

ME: "Hi, we talked earlier about the cats, the slug pellets won't stop them toileting in your garden (see I don't swear at you) they'll just make them sick, so we brought you this, the instructions are on the back but if you spread that over the soil it will put them off."

Neighbour: "Oh...no I meant the SLUGS are killing the plants and because your cat go in my garden it get sick from slug pellets so I warn you I'm using them."

Me: "oh...okay... bye"
(so i was ready to start a war over a miscommunication...)

D : "Wow they were sooooo rude, I can't believe you managed to stay calm, I see now just how unreasonable they were and why you were so mad...." *stares at me in that patronising way*

Me: *punches D's arm* "Oh shut up!"

Sunday 19 June 2011

The 'Not me'

This morning I had one of those "wonderful" occasions where I wake up (at 6am) and the whole day feels like I'm not me. I'm sure you've had those days too. Where you feel as if you are physically moving one step behind yourself.
The 'not me' however is always super annoying, feeling moody, confused, very groggy and disorientated and I spend the entire day feeling like I'm sat behind someone else who is essentially driving my body for a day.
I never understand why the 'not me' can't be a super productive version who cleans my house, bakes some fresh goodies and irons everything. While the 'real me' sits back with her feet up just coasting along. No, the 'not me' has to be a confused geriatric who can't even remember basic names and tasks. Perhaps it's future me from the year 2086 whose popped her clogs but won a "day in the life of" young me.
She must be very disappointed, I'm never doing anything even remotely interesting when I get occupied by 'not me'.
And to confuse myself further, I actually spend large sections of the day sitting quietly asking myself...if I am me, I sure don't feel like me. I begin to hear 'duuuuuuhhhh?' and high pitched static 'white noise' through my mind at intervals throughout the day, as if, perhaps, future me - is a zombie.
Maybe it's time to get ready for Zomb'ocolypse circa 2086 - you'll know when it's coming, we'll get that oh-so-familiar vacant look in our eyes and start forgetting where we are going and what our names are.

But enough with the side order of crazy, I've got me some working to.....um....what was I doing here again?

Friday 17 June 2011

If retweet is repeating a tweet is this a reBlog?

Hoody shared with us yesterday her yelling at the tv habits, which caused me to analyse my own habits too.
I have discovered I actually inform other people on the tv what other tv people are saying about them...e.g.
TV "I really hope Melanie likes me"
ME: "Actually Melanie has been sleeping with your guy and stabbing you in the back so you might wanna whoop her ass"

TV "I don't know what to do with my life"
ME: "I think you should get a job and stop whining...but that's just my opinion"

TV "I put the word dream in team"
ME: "You are really going to regret saying that when they fire your ass"

TV "I hope Jenny likes me too"
ME: *tap tap tap........."can you hear me? You should whoop their asses......tap tap tap......helloooo tv lady I'm trying to help you"

and it doesn't stop there D can be found laughing hysterically as I'm evicted from the cinema for such classics as

MOVIE: "let's all stick together and .........blahblah"
ME: "Noo john's clearly the one whose killing people why have you not noticed he's always conveniently missing and covered in blood?"

MOVIE: *5 minutes in*
ME: "He did it (I'm ALWAYS right) .......... someone should tell the cast"

MOVIE: "So we have to do this?"
ME: "You are all idiots, I figured that out fifty minutes ago and now half your cast has died and you're miles from that location."

And since I've been ill, which I still am by the way, the daytime TV has not stopped. But it feels like my brain has been replaced by a thick fudge-like substance since everything sounds far away and doesn't seem to compute. On a plus though I'm on a Battlestar Galactica Marathon :) oh yesss they rock!

Hopefully I will recover from this horrible bug soon since I don't seem to do much but sit wide mouthed (to breathe ya'll) looking at the tv set, not understanding anything I'm watching. and so many entertaining things have happened in my life but I'm too tired and headachey to want to try write them down yet.

Wednesday 15 June 2011

What's the story Morning Glory

I'm still feeling pretty poorly and weak so we decided to rent a movie on Filmflex.
Morning Glory - the only movie D and I could agree we'd both like that the trailer didn't spoil the ending to - was better than we imagined. It's no Schindler's list but it made us laugh, and kept us entertained for a good hour and 45 minutes. From the creators of 'the Devil wears Prada' it's very similar in style, a young girl trying to climb a career ladder with little experience, who then manages to flourish, get the amazing job so many others would desire and then choose whether or not to take it, yes we've seen it all before. But the dialogue, leads and ideas keep it entertaining. (Although Diane Keaton is just Diane Keaton again)


I think I want Miss. Mcadams Haircut or at least her bangs


On another note I'd like to share two new blogs with you all, they are both business blogs so maybe not as rude entertaining as some of the blogs you usually follow, but I know they both take a lot of work to run and could do with some support and followers.
The first is Ruby & Rose Jewellery. Run by Emily, one half of their team, she blogs as often as she can about life and their gorgeous collections.
The second is Adamontise Oh yes, that is my business blog, updated weekly and while not as chatty as my own, I really hope some of you might check me out there too. Business blogs are a lot of hard work (remaining professional without being too detached) and sadly updating daily pictures of my cats probably wouldn't be too well received, unless I can teach them to read first, but we update the blog about books, reading, authors, events and anything else we find amusing.

That's all from me for now, I'm going to go sit in the corner and cough up a lung.

Monday 13 June 2011

Still so poorly

I've had some not too nice moments this weekend, from throwing up from coughing so hard, to struggling to breathe and getting chest pains (heart attack? My arm went numb), but no one has had a worse time than D.
I have behaved like I am dying (because I was) and that D is my own personal slave (because he is).
From miming the word "milk-shake" (really don't ask) to conning him into cooking, running errands and just giving me cuddles. D has had his work cut out for him, and bless him he takes care of me without complaint.
I lost my voice, the ability to swallow, struggled to breathe, couldn't move my neck and now I'm congested to the point of pain.
We're at the hospital in an hour for an appointment for something else...I still think the doc might glance at me and declare me infected with the bubonic plague (caught, I assume from my cats pet mice) so I may be gone for a few days as I'm rushed into quarantine.

Alternately he might give me some wonderful drugs to help take the swelling and temperature down - and they've invented a cure for sneezing right?
We'll I'm off to go infect some more people with my disease, I'll be back in a couple of days since, of course I get sick right before my back to back meetings which are scheduled mon-wed - pfffft.

BLOG TRIVIA : I sneezed 18 times while writing this post - make that 19.

Friday 10 June 2011

*cough hack hack* Pity party, table for one.

My mum has been poorly this week, and because I'm so nice, and stupidly felt invincible I've been spending a lot of time with her. Now I'm poorly, scratch that, now i'm slowly choking to death.
I am currently wearing 3 layers, two dressing gowns and a blanket and I am still shivering, my throat feels like it's been ripped out, my chest feels like someone implanted some concrete while I slept and did I mention I'm freezing?

So I'm curled up with my bottle of buttercup cough syrup (please cure me!) a giant bag of cheese curls, all the ice lollies I can eat and chicken soup. And I feel pretty pitiful. I'd hoped to finish digging up the garden today but it's raining so I guess I wouldn't be able to anyway.
Apparently my gardening attempts are appreciated by Ms. Squirrel who has finally re-attempted using the feeder correctly.
I can't believe I got so sick so fast, the red ants nest I attacked yesterday isn't capable of voodoo right?
Work is a write off today, the idea of moving is off since I'm so COLD! I think a day of TV surfing and video gaming is the best I can hope for...it's a hard life.


Miracle cure?

Thursday 9 June 2011

Business Plan Heckers

I'm currently writing my companies business plan - which is proving to be worse than anything I have ever had to write before. It's not exactly hard to do, but it is extremely tiring. Sadly just writing the words "I'm awesome, give me money" is not the way to securing a business loan.
So to avoid writing it all in one day, and because there was grave danger of laptop-fall-asleep-on-age I decided to get some fresh air.
Fresh air turned into pulling every scrap (and there was a lot) of ivy off the fences, oiling and fixing the garage door, and beginning digging a border for flowers.
Procrastinating much?
So now I'm SUPER tired, far too tired to now , on the day I planned to finish writing the business plan draft , to open a word document. Oops.
Oh a plus I got this awesome solar powered butterfly thing for my garden which is perhaps the greatest thing ever.
I found some videos on you tube of the butterfly but they seem to all be shot in the shade so........um........nothing is happening........it's like SOLAR POWERED you video taking morons......I'll upload one of mine tomorrow. Just need the sun to wake-up my flutterby up first.

Wednesday 8 June 2011

Day out by the canalside

Yesterday I took a surprise trip out of town to walk by a canal, I spent most of the day opening lock gates, walking and feeding an entire loaf of bread to the inhabitants of the river.
If I'd had the foresight to pack the camera I could now share with you the pictures of the duck and ducklings, strange chinese duck bird thing, and the moor hens, their five babies and imposter moor hen wannabe.
As it is I can only share the stories with you, with photos stolen from google.



These cute little babies were cared for by two moorhens. Both parents would dive around grabbing as much bread as possible before taking it back to the chicks and feeding them. It was just adorable. Another bird, which looked nothing like a moorhen, had made itself part of the family. The baby moorhens were confused by this "other mother" and kept following her to be met by the daddy moorhen screeching them to come back. The "other mother" also fed the babies...and even tried to act like a baby and get fed. The poor parent moorhens seemed to be very confused by it but also happy to let it live with them. We can't be sure if it was a "cuckoo in the nest" and perhaps hatched with the moorhens, it's three times the size of the babies so not too surprising that they are confused.



Along the canal were signs declaring "Beware of Stocky the swan, it's nesting season and he is very protective of mrs. swan." Too right he was, acting all friendly until you bend down and then HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS and he's trying to take your hand-off. I cleverly, positioned other walkers between me and "Stocky" whenever I had to pass him, hehe cannon swan fodder.

So that was my long and exhausting day, I came back with feathers braided into my hair, forgot they were there (I brought them home for the kittehs) and went shopping in town with them still in, I wondered why I received so many weird looks. Once I'd remembered the feathers, my dear Kitalpha was in ecstasy rolling around, feathers clamped between her paws, sniffing and gnawing at them while purring like an engine, so that's so worth it.

Tuesday 7 June 2011

Another stupid Advert

I'm thinking of making a section for all the adverts that are down right ridiculous so they have a place to live on my blog. I can't make it through a week of television without wanting to smash a badly written advert.

This week: Bridgestone Tyres "Your Journey, Our Passion"


Ahem..."A couple is seen leaving a hospital with a new baby, and setting off in the car on a wet night, as screen messages introduce and describe the baby. The father avoids a potential accident by braking hard, and the narrator advises that Bridgestone make tyres that help us stop shorter in the wet. The slogan Your Journey, Our Passion appears on screen."

First the advert makes me, a hormonal woman, care about a newborn...and then tries to scare the bejeebes out of me by nearly killing it. It's done in the style of our "drink drive" government adverts, I get what they are trying to achieve but it's so over-dramatic.

The message I received from this ridiculous advert:

'If you buy our competitors tyres...your baby will die.' - Lovely...

Monday 6 June 2011

More Nightmares

I love sharing my nightmares with you, in some vague hope someone else will say "I had that dream too" and I can stop feeling like a crazy person.
Last night I dreamt that I was running down endless corridors in a construction site. Door after door opened into only more corridors and I kept pressing on, sure I was going in the right direction, but everyone I know who I like or likes me (as well as those who don't) could be found scattered through the corridors. They all viewed me like I was a stranger, or crazy, or both.

My wild attempts at dream analysis
I've been reading a lot of "inspirational quotes" about persistence 'ambition is the destination, persistence is the vehicle you arrive in' etc. to try and shake myself out of a lull. I'm feeling stir crazy and need a break, away from home (which is my work) for around 48 hours or so just so I can relax before plunging back into work.
I assume the striving through door after door certain of my direction is a dream metaphor for persistence, I also assume the friends looking at me as strangers is because I don't truly feel like anyone really understands how I'm feeling and why I feel so deflated. I've been doing this job for ten months, every day, all day. It's constantly on my mind so even when I shut the laptop down I have this niggling feeling I have more work to get done. And I just feel like a need a small holiday, maybe just a couple of trips out for the day and I'll be fine, relaxing at home turns into me feeling guilty I'm not working harder.

Gosh that turned into a self-pitying whine!

Your homework is to have a dream this week (I don't know how to achieve the dream state, take some drugs or something...wait did I just "pro-drugs?" forget that...watch a disturbing movie and then fall asleep...no wait pick a fight with someone and then fall asleep and dream-you can work it out, that sounds the safest option, so long as they aren't "packing heat".)
Then write about it...yes, that's right, It's that time of the month again...serial killer check time...

Friday 3 June 2011

I am Magical

A post that's only slightly better than my previous post

Me: *Cough Splutter*..*hack*....WOW!!!
D: What?
Me: I just coughed a bubble! And it floated and everything
D:Wha....
Me: It was just like a soap bubble, I have NEVER done that before, I have actual magical powers!

*Insert me coughing and spluttering trying to re-do it*

D: You know that means you only have 5 minutes to live
Me: Huh?
D: That bubble was your soul escaping...now you only have a few minutes left
Me: *continuing to cough and splutter to make a new bubble*
D: See it's already starting.

New Laptop



Finally a shiny new laptop to replace the file-eating-slow-running-pile-o-crap old laptop I had :)

Thursday 2 June 2011

Cat Mafia Day 3

Well no wars have broken out in the garden, except one between the squirrel and the magpie. The squirrel has been screaming at the magpie to get the hell out of it's tree, this noise can only be described as the screech a cat lets out when you step on their tail. Over and over and over again.
I helped the squirrel dislodge the magpie by accidentally bashing the wind chime with my elbow.

Me: Whoo I scared it off
D: Don't think it's going to come say thank you, and don't think if you start singing it'll come in and do the housework for you either

Dammit, that would be so cool!
In the meantime The squirrel did it's acrobatics on the fence while Roarke, being the dumb creature he is, tried to figure out if the noise it made was coming from the bushes....oblivious to the squirrel jumping over his head.

So everything seemed calm in 'foiled' land until we opened the front door.



This giant mouse is three times the size of the one we found before, which I translate as "I can take two of you - easy"

Wednesday 1 June 2011

Squirrel Stupidity

We have a 10ft high feeder in our garden strewn with all kinds of bird and squirrel treats. We have this because, as you know, I ADORE squirrels.
Last night D and I mowed the grass, weeded and cut back some scrub. We came down this morning to see that a very smart squirrel had knocked our feeder to the ground and was dancing across it gathering nuts, burying them, then gathering more, then doing a victory dance and burying them again....I could only imagine this dialogue..

"Omgoshies...NUTS....I am awesome I made nuts rain from the skiiy!
I'm going to bury them here for next time....wow there is more nuts here too, I'm a MAGIC squirrel I'm making nuts!!! I'll get some more nuts and bury them here......*skips round to feeder* HEY lookie, nuts! Awesome I found nuts, I'm gonna bury them to keep them safe...wow there are more nuts buried...I'm so magical......*turns round to feeder* Hey look some nuts!!!"

Poor thing buried them there last year and never found them again.....well until now.
I just wished I'd managed to see it surf the feeder to the ground! And the poor cats, who obviously had, were going crazy at the door to go chase this bouncing fluffy thing.

Mafia update:
Roarke spent all day yesterday laid in his basket, barely moving, not interested in din-dins (his favourite thing). He just kept giving me big ol' cow eyes and a "it's all over today" look as if he was going to the electric chair. He didn't even want to go outside! But he did get persuaded to sit on the outside of the door, while I was mowing the lawn, if he could have tied himself to the door though, I think he would have.
We didn't receive another 'gift' overnight but we think we've solved the problem. We're going to try fence the back of the yard off so our cats have a defined territory, at the moment we get the opinion they believe the forest belongs to them, and them alone. And three cats who won't work as a team can't exactly hold a mile long stretch of woodland.